Have you ever caught yourself reacting to something at work, an email, a comment in a meeting, or a piece of unexpected feedback, and thought, “Ugh, why did I just do that?”

Yeah, me too.

Even the most self-aware leaders fall into that trap because our brains are not wired for composure. They are wired for survival. The same part of the brain that once helped us run from danger now flares up during stressful conversations and high pressure moments.

That is why I loved this week’s Reflect Forward conversation with executive coach Nataly Huff. She uses neuroscience to help leaders understand what is really happening in their brains when stress strikes and how to stay grounded when the amygdala, our fight-or-flight-or-freeze center, tries to take over.

When Your Brain Gets Hijacked

When you feel triggered, your amygdala jumps into action. It is trying to protect you. The problem is that it cannot distinguish between a charging bear and a challenging coworker. Once it takes over, your prefrontal cortex, the logical, calm, decision-making part of your brain, goes offline. You stop responding like a leader and start reacting like a human under threat. Here is the good news. You can train your brain to lead.

When you recognize the signs of hijack, such as shallow breathing, a racing heart, and tightness in your chest, you can interrupt the pattern. Take a few deep, structured breaths. Try box breathing, inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4, or the 4-7-8 method. These simple practices tell your body, “I am safe,” which allows your thinking brain to come back online.

As Nataly said in our conversation, “You do not need to solve the problem in that moment. You just need to remind your brain that there is no bear. It is just an email.”

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

One of my favorite parts of our conversation was about how the stories we tell ourselves shape our emotions, and often, those stories are not even true. Something happens, and our brain instantly fills in the blanks. “They do not respect me.” “I am not good enough.” “They are out to get me.” That thought sparks emotion, which drives behavior.

For me, one of my biggest triggers is feeling like someone thinks I am stupid. That one goes way back. My dad was tough and critical, and he often made me feel like I was not smart enough. When someone speaks to me condescendingly, it lights up that old neural pathway, and suddenly, I am no longer the CEO or the confident adult. I am that little girl again, trying to prove I am capable.

Once I understood the neuroscience behind that pattern, I realized the story was no longer real. I could catch myself in the moment and say, “This is not about them. This is about me.” That pause changes everything. As Nataly teaches, the key is to slow down your thinking and ask, “Is this true? Can I know for sure?” It is incredible how fast that question can stop a spiral.

Leadership Starts with Awareness

Here is the truth. Leadership is not about staying unshaken. It is about learning to recognize when you have been shaken and returning to your center more quickly each time. Every time you pause, breathe, and choose differently, you are building new neural pathways for calm, clarity, and confidence. You are training your brain to lead.

This is the real work of leadership. Not perfection. Not performance. Presence.

So the next time you feel that familiar rush of irritation or fear, take a breath. Remind yourself that your brain is just doing its job. Then step forward from awareness instead of instinct. That is where leadership begins.

Listen to the Full Conversation

Nataly and I dive deep into the neuroscience of leadership, how to recognize an amygdala hijack, manage triggers, use the Think → Feel → Do framework, and regulate your nervous system in real time. It is one of those episodes that will shift how you think about stress, emotion, and what it really means to lead.

Listen now: Reflect Forward, Episode 41 — Train Your Brain to Lead